These Eyes I Forget
by cassielouwho
Summary: Hydra!Simmons


Grant stared down at the file before him. Jemma Elizabeth Simmons was 18, only three years younger than himself. He'd call her pretty if there wasn't such a bright light to her eyes. Most likely, she was the optimistic type. Wanted to save the world and all that bull. Why Garrett had made the file his responsibility puzzled him. One part was obvious. It was Shield's file. Get her to accept Shield and Hydra would make their jobs easier. But why was this now Ward's job?

"She's a pretty young girl." Garrett explained.

"And you're point?"

"You're still rough around the edges, Ward. You need practice and we need her brains."

"Alright, so what exactly are you asking me to do?"

"I want you to make a double agent out of her. She's already on Shield's radars. I convinced Fury to let us recruit her. Get her to agree, and spend a month or two training her before she accepts her place in Shield. We'll go from there."

"What if she refuses? You've read her file. She's a goody two shoes. Two weeks prior you had me knocking on her door. Not only did she let me in, she let me stay the night. A complete stranger with car troubles. "

"Find a way. Or I will."

The order is final.

At first Grant considered inflicting emotional pain on her. Whether directly to her or through some she cared about. Too much, he feared, could turn her. It could make or break his chances. Instead, he focuses on what she wants to hear. He wasn't wrong about her character; rules were followed most of the time. She cared for people in a way most people couldn't. Even better was that she lusted for knowledge. The girl lusted for knowledge that helped people. But he doesn't get the chance to test his theory, her parents were dead by Garrett's order.

When he see's her again, she's different from the girl that offered hospitality six months ago, that had always possessed a love for life. In many ways it was his own fault. It was grant's admittance of morals that had Garrett killing her parents. Grant hadn't questioned his own morals about it. His life existed around pain, and anger, and death. Her parent's murder wasn't anything new. It was easy to tell the girl about Shield when the time came. He peaked her interests before revealing Hydra and the bits of science, anything that would interest her. Eventually, she said yes.

Black suited her. Though, standing before him, she still looked like a child dressed in the black sparing gear. In the four months she had been her, her skill had improved, muscles had become defined. Grant hadn't seen her since the day he brought her to a Hydra facility. Between his Shield assignments and her own work in the real world, their paths hadn't crossed. Now, he'd have a few months to oversee her training before she'd be moved to the Academy. Ward doubted he'd see her after.

"I suppose I should call you Ward now."

He nodded. He rarely went by his first name. Let alone by someone who barely knew him.

"Smith has given you high marks with your training. I doubt the same isn't said in the science department. I hear you've made some improvements."

Jemma smiles, her head tilting upward. She was pleased with the praise. It amused him.

"Hit me." he commanded. After all, he was here to train her, not admire his pet project.

Ward watched the brief confusion spread, but she only hesitated a moment longer before swinging. He caught her forearm easily. As he went to flip her- there was a lesson to be taught- Simmons's own foot hooked behind his. They went down in a heap.

"Only go rot the obvious punch or move when you the tactical advantage." he advised, pushing her off of him.

"Noted." She breathed.

The next few weeks, it was interesting to see her eyes darken. Her demeanor changing completely. No more bright smiles. It was the first time he knew that she'd never go back to the girl she once was. Her induction into Hydra was very different than his own. It wasn't as brutal as his had been, though, the truth still remain hidden from her. She didn't need the incentive that he had needed. Her past not filled with trouble as his had been. She analyzed the facts and choose whether to accept them or not.

Grant frowned at the knock. It was late. He marked the page in his book and threw open the door. He wasn't surprised by her presence, but the tears that shined in the light.

"My parents..." She started.

Of course she had figured it out. Grant had feared that it was only a matter of time. He sighed and the held the door wider as an invitation for her to step inside to his small room. It was modest, but better off than most. She herself slept in room with seven others. He had the privilege of privacy.

"It was Hydra wasn't it? You-they- killed my parents." The words came flying out of her mouth as soon as the door closed.

Grant ran a hand through his hair. Some of the child-likeness in her features had faded away, but tonight her eyes were big and round like a frightened child.

'Why?" Her voice trembled. "Was it just to make me one of you? Cold and heartless?"

"It wasn't my idea. It was Garrett's and it was done before I could stop it." Grant answered, choosing his words carefully.

"So, you thought it best to let me believe my parents died in a mugging? How long were you going to let me believe that charade?" She was close to yelling now.

He didn't answer. She wouldn't want his answer. She wouldn't want the truth.

"How long?" She demanded in a shrill voice.

"Till you were loyal. Committed to the cause."

He let her hit him, let her scream and cry obscenities at him. Grant stopped focusing on her words. Some where thick with tears, others he wish he hadn't heard. They hadn't needed to kill her parents. With the right words, promises she would have joined. Her mind needed knowledge and Hydra wasn't restricted as Shield. He let her rage on till her voice was raw and eyes dry.

"What was I supposed to do?" He asked. His voice low and hands gripping her wrists like shackles. "Was I supposed to tell you? Would it make it easier if I had?"

She didn't answer, but a whimper escaped her lips.

His grip on her wrists is too tight. They'll likely bruise. He waited for the answer.

"I don't know." She choked out. Jemma tried to take a step back and free her wrists.

It didn't work. His grip was still too tight for her, and she nearly trips from the effort. He pushed her into the chair by his desk. His hands keeping her own on the arm rests.

"What are you going to do now? You can't run away. You can't get help or justice. Garrett will either lock you up or kill you. You're lucky he wants you as an asset. He could have made your murder very bloody a long time ago."

Grant waited till she nods, and nods again before lifting his hands. He didn't enjoy scaring her. A rare bout of fondness. He had to make her stay. Keep her alive. Garrett would torture her just to let Grant know he failed.

He lets her stay the night in his quarters. When she leaves her eyes were still puffy and ragged, but it wasn't as severe. He made sure her hair was a mess, that she looked like she was taking the walk of shame. Better to make people think she was his little play thing.

When she's finally ordered to the Academy, there was almost no trace of the girl she once was. She became more ruthless in her time with him. It took a while for her to forgive him for that night, but eventually she did.

"You know, I'm going to have to go back to the bright and smiling girl I was." Jemma spoke, it was late. It was their last night at the Hydra base together.

"What a shame." Grant murmured against her forehead. "I've always liked the look in your eyes after you hit your target."

"Well, the Jemma Simmons Shield knows can't hit a target. She won't be ruthless either. No, she'll be radiating sunshine." She informed him before nipping at his lips.

"Will I see you again?" She asked, pulling away from his lips a few minutes later.

"Probably not."

"I know Garrett wants me as a double agent, but I'm more a sleeper than anything. He said nothing against personal relationships."

"Is that so?" Grant asked with a raised eyebrow. "I think hell would freeze over if someone from the Academy and Operations shared the same bed."

"Nobody has to know." Jemma grinned.

She was right. No body had to know. And when he saw her on the Bus, back to the girl she once was, nobody knew.


End file.
